Teething gets blamed for a lot. Bad nights, grumpy afternoons, a runny nose, a funny nappy. Some of that is fair. Some of it is a tooth taking the credit for something else entirely, and knowing the difference saves a lot of worry.

When it starts

Most babies start teething at around six months. That is the average, and the range around it is wide:

  • a small number of babies are born with a tooth
  • some start before four months
  • some do not get a first tooth until after their first birthday

All of those are normal. A late first tooth, on its own, is rarely anything to worry about. If your baby is well past their first birthday with no teeth at all, mention it to your health visitor or dentist, but do not lose sleep over it before then.

The bottom front teeth usually come first, then the top front ones, then the rest over the following couple of years. Most children have their full set of 20 milk teeth by about two and a half.

What teething actually looks like

The common signs:

  • red, sore or swollen gums where a tooth is coming
  • more dribbling than usual, sometimes with a rash on the chin from it
  • one flushed cheek
  • chewing and gnawing on hands, toys, anything
  • rubbing their ear on the same side as the tooth
  • being more fretful and clingy, and sometimes sleeping worse

Some babies get almost all of these. Some cut a tooth with no fuss at all and you only notice when it appears.

What teething does not do

This is the part worth getting right. Teething does not cause a high temperature, and it does not cause diarrhoea. A slightly warm baby is possible, but a fever of 38C or more, diarrhoea, or a baby who seems genuinely unwell needs looking at as its own thing, especially in a young baby. Putting it down to teeth can mean missing an ear infection or a tummy bug.

What helps

Cold, not frozen. A teething ring chilled in the fridge is soothing to chew on. Frozen ones can be hard enough to hurt the gums.

Pressure. Gently rubbing the sore gum with a clean finger helps a surprising number of babies.

Something to gnaw. If your baby has started solids, cool, safe finger foods like chilled cucumber or a piece of bread crust give them something to work on, with you right there.

Wipe the dribble. Keeping the chin dry heads off the rash that dribbling causes.

Pain relief for real pain. If your baby is clearly in pain, sugar-free paracetamol (from two months) or ibuprofen (from three months, if they weigh enough and the medicine is suitable) at the dose on the packet for their age can help. It is fine to use it for a rough night. Check with a pharmacist if you are unsure what is right for your baby.

What to avoid

Amber teething necklaces and bracelets. They are sold everywhere, and health authorities including the US FDA warn against them because of the risk of strangulation and choking. There is no good evidence they do anything for pain.

Numbing gels with benzocaine. These are advised against for young children. If you want to try a teething gel, ask a pharmacist for one that is suitable for your baby's age.

Homeopathic teething products. There is no good evidence they work, and some have had safety problems.

With twins, teeth rarely arrive together

Even identical twins often get their teeth weeks apart. It is common for one to have four teeth while the other has none, and it does not mean anything about either baby's development.

The practical effect is that a bad night is not always a shared teething night. Quite often one twin has a tooth coming and the other is simply being woken up. If both are unsettled, it is worth checking whose gums actually look sore before giving medicine to both, and keeping a note of which baby had a rough night makes the pattern easier to see over a few weeks.

Looking after the new teeth

Start brushing as soon as the first tooth appears, twice a day with a baby toothbrush and a smear of fluoride toothpaste. Keep sugary drinks and snacks to a minimum, and do not put your baby down to sleep with a bottle of milk or juice. Taking your baby along to your own dental appointments is an easy way to get them used to the dentist before they need one.